PARENTING ARTICLES & TIPS

Adoption Records

In this article, the author begins the journey to locate his natural birth parents by searching through his adoption records ...

As an adopted child, I have had to face many traumas that other children never had to face. It wasn't just the teasing in school, although that was certainly part of it. It was the feeling that I didn't belong, that I wasn't quite like the other kids. My mother and father loved me and always made me feel accepted, so it wasn't like I had any lack of affection in my life, but I couldn't help wondering and wanting to figure out why my birth parents had put me up for adoption.

From a very early age, I wanted to check my adoption records to find out what had happened to my birth parents, who they were, where they lived, and why they had given me away. My parents at first were not interested in letting me. The only reason I knew I was adopted was that I had once accidently heard them talking about my adoption records. They had planned to keep it a secret from me, and successfully did until I was ten.

Finally, one day, my dad sat me down for a talk at the age of thirteen. “Son,” he said, “your mother and I love you very much, but if you still want to find out who your birth parents are, we'll help you find your adoption records.” I gave him a hug, on the verge of tears, and thanked him, telling him how much I loved him as well. Then we set out to check our adoption records. It was harder than I thought it would be. My parents had given me away anonimously, not wishing to face the shame of having been unable to bring up their child alone. All we had was a first name of my mother: sharon.

We tried the hospital, but of course, the record was confidential. We soon turned to the internet, and tried adoption records services to see if there was anything. These services cost little, but helped less. After several searches, we were no closer to finding who my parents were than when we first started. That's when I turned to television.

There was a talk show doing a show about adoptees who wanted to be reunited with their birth parents. I went on with my adopted parents, and told my story. How I was now a happy healthy high schooler, living the american dream, but that there was still this missing something, this void in my life. I had expected that maybe, just maybe, my parents would call. I wasn't prepared for what happened, however. They had been back stage all the time, and after I had told my story, they came out to meet me! I didn't actually like them very much when I met them, though.

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